When I graduated college, I never really had any expectations for my life other than finding a job. I guess I assumed I would get married and have children, but I didn’t plan on anything or have big expectations. Additionally, I didn’t think there was another plan other than job, marriage, children and life in the suburbs.
When I got a job within a month after graduating, in a suburb 30 minutes from where I grew up, I jumped at the chance to move there. My husband, then boyfriend, moved close once he got a job. After our wedding, we rented a house, and then bought a house in the next suburb over.
Fast forward twenty some years, two kids, two dogs, numerous cars, and possessions later, we are still in the suburbs living a "standard" life. I never questioned where we were at along the way. Yes, I did stay home with our children, go back to school, and switch jobs a few times, but I just kept moving forward.
Looking back, I realized I just went along with the changes in our seasons of life. For some reason, this journey towards simple living has me fighting these seasons, and it isn’t working.
I was fighting working full time in a corporate job. I wanted to move to a smaller house, in a smaller community and have more flexibility in our lives. I wanted to spend tons of time exercising, maybe join a gym or buy winter biking clothes. I wanted to work at home, or for myself. I got caught up in the dream of making money blogging.
The problem is is that I am forcing this on myself at a time when my family is not ready for it. Our son is attending a local college. My job really does give me flexibility when I am at work, despite a sometimes heavy workload. I don’t bring work home with me, so that is another good thing about it. Our house is paid for and provides ample room for all who still live here, without being overly big or difficult to maintain.
Instead of all of this, I need to learn to accept where I am at this season in our lives. Does that mean I should just say forget it to the rest of my ideas? No, but they need to happen gradually and naturally, and not be forced upon myself or my family.
As such, I have spent the last month digging through my mind to find ways to bring back peace. The whole reason I started this simple living journey, was to live a peaceful life. Instead, I got caught up in the whirlwind of trying to change my life.
One of the things I realize I need to do is set this blog aside for awhile. I don’t know how long that will be or if I will ever pick it back up. In its place, I am reviving a blog I attempted to start two years ago on quilting (link to blog).
If I looked at the Pins I really get excited about, they were my personal ones for quilting, exercise and recipes that appealed to me. Throw in a few pins on outfits I like, and random household ideas, and that was me. Not the blogging for money pins.
So I cleaned out my Pinterest account. A little digging through my digital life and I was excited to see that I didn’t delete my old blog. (And also realized I have grown as a writer!) I haven’t posted much new there yet, because I am trying to go slow - not always easy for me.
Oh and the exercise thing? After a few days of biking in cold weather, I nixed that idea and am looking into hiking boots instead. That is something my husband and I can do year round with little effort (ie no bikes to pack up or gear to buy). Plus, I like taking nature pictures, like this waterfall we found on a nearby trail.
Who knows, I may change my mind again one day, but for this season in life, this is what I feel I need to do.